WASHINGTON, DC. (Rooters) - Consolidating his hold on the government, President Bush (the new one, not the old one) today unveiled the new $200 bill. Bush said, "Once we close all of the environment and health divisions of the government, and eliminate all those nasty regulations, American businesses will have higher profits. To help the people who really count in American business - the oil barons, government officials, and so on - to carry much all that extra money in their wallets, we are introducing this new bill. Just think, instead of having to carry 50 $100 bills, our friends will only have to carry 25 of the new $200 bills. They will be more comfortable as they fly from Washington to Argentina, or wherever they might choose to retire. And of course it has my picture on it which will make Mommy happy."

(See the real story as reported by Reuters and posted at Yahoo.)