(Portland, RP News) The 26th Annual Mr. International Fridge Repairman competition opened today with the traditional 50 meter Individual Crack Waddle.

Diane Hawser, anchor of the WGME TV-13 nightly financial news, reports from the raceway "Contestants are judged on the amount and quality of cleavage, as well as the speed of their waddle. John Barkbun, winner of the Patootie, MI, regional, is showing a fine amount of cleavage, and the judges are sure to give additional consideration for the blinding whiteness of the exposed flesh."
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