Recently discovered buried in one of the Easter Island hills, an ancient head awaits transplantation to the Mount Rushmore National Memorial in South Dakota. Intense research (aided by late night psychotropics) has determined that it is the bust of a popular chieftan of the late 1600's, Willau Smythe. Willau was a sailor on the HMS Ripper, a coal ship blown off course during its travels between England and Scotland. Although well-liked by the rest of the crew, he was set adrift because he didn't swear enough. Legend has it that sea eagles led Smythe to the island, where the Rapa Nui, recognizing a man blessed by the gods, adopted him as their tribal leader.
photo from the Radio Paradise studio cam, provided by face

An early screen test by the Warner Brothers cartoon division, trying to develop the Wallenda Worm character. This scene had Elmer Fudd firing his shotgun at Wallenda, who then drank latex caulk to plug the holes. It was deemed a failure: the test audience ran screaming from the theatre and a fire hose had to be brought in to wash down the aisles. Interestingly, it was this hose that led to the now-traditional "shoot and then drink water which then squirts out the sides" gag.

It was later determined that it wasn't the latex caulk that the audience had problems with, it was Wallenda. He was let go in 1947, then spiraled into alcohol and drug problems. After a brief comeback as the Tobacco-Spitting Worm in B-grade cartoons, he emigrated to Mexico where he was tragically trapped in a bottle of mezcal.

Thanks to JrzyTmata and the garden cam!

The promiscuous Red Helicopter dragonfly, taking a huge toke off a bud, and offering himself to all passersby. The Red Helicopter is not often seen, as it doesn't understand reproduction particularly well, and in any case is not usually coherent enough to respond to "Hey, baby, what's your sign?" in a rational fashion.
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"The Force is strong in that one, Emperor."
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It had taken days.

Nights.

Nights were especially painful. The light would pierce not only his eyes, but the alien's, too, more deeply, more painfully. Only protective goggles had kept the alien from the same boulder-strewn descent.

But it had worked. The months of reckless preparation. The lost days and nights and hands as the swinging battle-ax of time pendulum'd back and forth over the darkened pit.

The last scream had faded away. Replaced by silent mental whimpers. Those now drowned by the dry whisp, whisp of the tape machine.

thanks to jester and the jestercam

From the latest issue of Print magazine: "flashturbation"! And this definition, from Flazoom.com: "Flashturbation - the act of visual wanking with useless motion/objects etc. is rampant."

Everyone deserves their own special day.